Wholeness....
It Starts in You.
New Year’s Eve Service 2017, better known as Watchnight Service, was a night I will never forget. My life came to a crossroad. My new pastor, Bishop W. James Thomas II, was having the first watchnight service under his leadership at Calvary Baptist Church. It was one of those times in life where something had to give, but I wanted that “something” to be everything but me… I wanted the world and my circumstances to change without me being involved. Crazy, right? Yeah, I know. Service was great; now it was time for altar call. Now listen, I’m not one to jump when it’s time for pastors to lay hands or be first in line for the prophetic word, but I knew I needed to be at that altar.
At the altar…It’s my turn. Do you know that feeling of “Lord, please don’t let him lay me out in front of all these people”? That was running through my mind. Bishop laid his hand on my forehead and simply said one-word multiple times: Wholeness!... Let the wailing commence! I literally heard wailing and realized it was me! I will never forget that night. Wailing! I had turned into both Mary and Martha, weeping and wailing.
Wholeness may look different for each person, but for me it required detaching myself from what I thought would bring me happiness, letting go of hurt from people who would not add to my life, relinquishing the shame from my past and all the mistakes I thought would determine my future. Simply put, I needed more of God. I needed Him in a way that wasn’t superficial. I needed to let God work on me. Although He knew me, I needed to acknowledge that HE KNEW ME! I wasn’t hiding. I was simply not living in my truth. God knew me and I didn’t know Him beyond the cliché moments and descriptions of Him.
God wanted me to be whole. He wanted me to feel His love. He needed me to see I was more than my mistakes. He affirmed me, gave me purpose, and orchestrated my future. He wanted me to rely on Him, deepen my faith, build up my trust, and let Him lead. What did that require of me? Letting go, surrendering, laying aside my raggedy plans (yes raggedy), living in my truth, acknowledging that I don’t have it together, and truly loving God.
That watchnight service changed my life and my direction. Within 2 weeks my life began to take exciting new turns. I am still on this journey. I am whole, yet He is still letting me discover who He has created me to be. There is always something new. One thing about it, GOD WILL SHOW YOU YOURSELF! It’s not always pretty, but it’s worth it.
God desires for you to be whole. He wants you to live! He wants to be your portion. John 10:10 says "the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that you might have life and have it abundantly." Don’t let the enemy rob you of your wholeness, your abundant life. Let God make you whole with His perfect love. Let go of everything keeping you from HIM. You are not your mistakes. You are not your trauma. You are not your past. God's love covers a multitude of sins. God's love is mercy. God's love is grace. God's love is sufficient. Whatever it is that has you bound, God can break it and set you free. Whatever it is keeping you hostage, God can deliver you from it. There is NOTHING too hard for God. You may be broken, but I promise you God can mend your broken pieces.
Wholeness… it starts in you and with God.
